


Working It Out

by panpariah



Series: Working It Out [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, M/M, Michael comes on Jeremy's face, Unresolved Emotional Tension, boyf riends - Freeform, but it's not bad, just bittersweet, not smut, which sounds smuttier than it really is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:59:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14512074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpariah/pseuds/panpariah
Summary: Michael and Jeremy have been dating for a while a year after the squip incident. They're trying to be sexually active, but it's difficult for Jeremy and it's put a little strain on the relationship.AKABoys talk about their feelings but its hard.





	Working It Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is cute and sad so if that's what you're here for, enjoy lol

“Uh, eugh, sorry,” Jeremy muttered, trying to wipe the cum from his face as gracefully as possible with the sleeve of his discarded shirt, unsure of how else to get rid of it. 

Michael made a humored laugh before adding, “You always were a messy eater,” earning an offended look from Jeremy. Jeremy was fighting the smile that threatened to show itself on his face.

“Michael!” he exclaimed, voice cracking, his smile growing wider as he punched at Michael’s arm. “That’s gross!” Michael was completely laughing at Jeremy with his arms up in defense, but not actually defending himself and Jeremy couldn’t help but join him. The laughter subsided as Jeremy focused on retrieving Michael’s clothes for him as he let Michael rest in post blow bliss. Michael watched him with a lingering feeling of hesitance, the thought of bringing the subject of Jeremy’s “problem” up again dancing on the forefront of his mind. Jeremy says he doesn’t mind not coming when the two of them hook up, but it still gave Michael a pang of guilt and somewhat of a loss of connection. He knows what happened to Jeremy when he was squipped was still fresh to him, but he wanted to be able to help his boyfriend.

“Wait-” Michael started.

“Yeah, babe?” Jeremy shot back absent-mindedly as he tossed Michael his pants and turned to look through Michael’s closet for another shirt. Michael caught the pants, but didn’t move to put them on and frowned instead.

“Jeremy,” he said with more certainty to his voice, finally gaining his boyfriend’s full attention. From the difficult expression on Michael’s face, Jeremy already knew what he was going to say. 

“I’m fine, I swear.” They had been through this before.

“I know you say that, but…” Michael wasn’t sure how to move forward from here. He didn’t want to push Jeremy, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. A lack of trust? Michael couldn’t just say it like that, it sounded as though he thought it was Jeremy’s fault in a way. Michael continued to mull over how to describe how he was feeling while Jeremy just sighed softly and continued to look at Michael expectantly, patiently. 

“I just want to help you, bro,” Michael finally settled on, trying to cover such a painfully vulnerable statement with masculinity. Even still, it made Jeremy feel awkward and ashamed, when he knew deep somewhere that it shouldn’t. Any lingering arousal from their previous activities were long gone. He didn’t know what to reply so he thought about it while he picked a shirt from Michael’s closet and put it on. Michael took the second to put his pants on before resuming his comfortable position on the bed. 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Jeremy said, not dismissively, but sensing the air stagnating without a reply. There was another beat before he added, “What do you want me to say?”

Michael looked away. If he were to be completely honest, he wanted Jeremy to say that he was fine, completely unaffected by the squip, but he knew that’s not how this worked. Michael’s lack of words made Jeremy’s chest hurt. He hated that he couldn’t sit comfortably in his own thoughts anymore. He hated that he couldn’t feel alone in his personal intimacy. But mostly he hated how his insecurity affected Michael. 

“I just want you to know that I love you,” Michael said in tender seriousness. Jeremy moved towards him and Michael opened his arms in preparation for him to join him on the bed. Jeremy nustled himself between Michael’s legs, his back against Michael’s chest. Michael closed his arms around Jeremy when he finally settled.

“I know, Mikey. I love you too.” Michael kissed the top of Jeremy’s left shoulder in response. Jeremy leaned all the way back so that his head was next to Michaels and kissed Michael’s lower cheek. Michael hummed in contentment, smiling softly, but bitterly aware that they had not really addressed the problem. They sat together in silence, Michael rubbing Jeremy’s arms between his own with his fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally intended this to be a smut (as you might be able to tell from the beginning lmao) literally based off of the idea that Michael teases Jeremy for not swallowing by calling him a picky eater. It was supposed to be cute and funny, but that was the only scene I wrote and couldn’t think of a way to write backwards, so I instead wrote about how fucked up Jeremy should be sexually after what the squip did to him. I wanted to portray a couple struggling with the difficult emotions that come with trauma, and not just on the side of the victim. I tried to make it heartfelt without over dramatizing for the angst lol. Hope you enjoyed, though it was short, my first fic in a long ass time.
> 
> Also, try saying "post blow bliss" five times quickly lmao


End file.
